Domestic-violence or . . .
where is the domestic balance?

Marriages or relationships that are marked by domestic- violence are not happy marriages.
Domestic-violence may be downright painful both physically and emotionally.

What is domestic-violence ?

Domestic violence is usually expressed as emotional and or physical abusive behaviors.

Emotional abuse may be expressed as:

• threatening
• intimidations
• exercising control
• forcing opinions
• forcing judgments
• forcing critical and disparaging allegations

• intentions to humiliate
• intentions to manipulate
• being unpredictable
• playing power and or mind games
• playing the judge and the executioner, having the right to punish
• playing the bully, the tyrant, the brute or victim

• projecting one’s own pain, insecurities and insignificance unto the spouse

Also as having excessive emotions like anger, frustrations, hate, rages and lack of affection, love and joy.
Emotional abuse includes destruction of trust, affection and safety.

Physical abuse includes physical actions like unasked for touching, pushing hitting, kicking, slapping, grabbing, pinching, usage of objects, weapons and body.
Physical abuse also includes destruction of bodies, children, pets and property.


• Marriage-Problems Tip:
Note that love can not be destroyed by domestic violence and abuse.

Now that we are more clear on what domestic violence is, you may ask yourself:

• Marriage-Problems Tip:
Ask yourself:

Do I experience domestic violence in my marriage as an one time incident which can be perfectly explained?

If this is the case, keep observing your marriage and keep tabs on those one time incidents.
You may want to run the Relationship Problems Quiz and find out more where you stand when you get in touch with your feelings . . .

Do the Marriage- Problems-Quiz and get more clarity!

Or

Ask yourself:
Do I admit having some domestic violence in my marriage?

If you acknowledge that there is a problem with domestic violence, you may ask yourself a number of questions:

Think this over:
Can you allow some hope that your life can improve?
Can you imagine that you deserve happiness and joy?

Before you ask yourself:

Should I stay or should I leave domestic-violence ?
Why is this domestic-violence happening to me ?
How did this marriage get so bad ?
Who’s to blame for this domestic-violence pain and agony ?
Whose fault is this domestic violence anyway ?
Can marriage counseling help me with domestic violence ?
And now, should I just split ?

Try working on your marriage and domestic violence first to clear out this abuse before you move on.

It is OK to bring yourself in physical safety first, if you need to do this.

• Marriage-Problems Tip:
What can you do about domestic violence ?

The first steps to take solving domestic-violence

Want to work on domestic-violence now ?

So why not this day be the good day to look inside, gain insight and resolve some of these issues at their roots in your inner world?

One of the best ways to start dealing with domestic-violence is to . . .

FIRST LOOK AT YOURSELF

What you can’t see or give to yourself, you will not be able to see or give to your spouse or another person.

Thinking we can change other people is also not constructive.

What is very constructive is to look at oneself!
Really look deep at one self in one’s inner world.
Make changes in the inner world if needed.
You will have a better life as a result of your inner work!

• Marriage-Problems Tip:
How to look at oneself:
Take a moment now to sit quietly.
Focus on your breathing and take deep and slow breaths as in belly breathing.
Close your eyes and take your attention inward.
Allow yourself to be a feeling being, to be in your heart and to feel the honesty of your heart.

Next, ask yourself:

• Do I accept myself ?

• Do I accept my body?
• Have I done work with my relationship with my own parents ?

Find out how the relationship with your parents impacts your marriage problems now!

• Do I respect myself ?
• Am I committed to myself, other people and things that are important to me ?

• Am I true to myself ?

• Do I take time to communicate to reflect on my inner feelings and thoughts ?

• Do I take enough relaxation time and play in my life ?
• Am I happy with myself ?

• Am I actually fulfilled in my life so far ?
• Do I love myself ?
• Do I love myself unconditionally ?


Answering the questions honestly and quickly with feeling and without thinking about your answers, is best.
There are of course no wrong nor right answers. The right answer is the one which now feels most true to you.
Remember, you do not have to share the results with anybody.


If you answered “NO” to any of these questions, ask yourself:

Can I forgive myself for being less respectful, less accepting, less committed, less happy, less fulfilled and less loving with myself ?

• Marriage-Problems Tip:
Make a real effort to forgive yourself and commit to be more respectful, more accepting, more committed, more happy, more fulfilled and more loving with yourself every day.

Domestic violence transforms into domestic balance!

Your marriage transforms into a loving relationship!

• Marriage-Problems Tip:
Make this effort every day for a week, for a month for three months and see how your life changes every day how it becomes more accepting, more happy and more loving.

Domestic-violence transforms into domestic balance and harmony and your marriage transforms into a loving relationship without any other effort worth mentioning.

How can this work?
How can this be so simple?
How can this be?

It’s because:
Your outer physical world is a reflection of your inner world

• Marriage-Problems Tip:
Contemplate on this and allow it to be received in your heart:

Domestic violence and forms of abuse may seem powerful and forceful,
Hurt and damages so real,

And

Love may seem fragile, vulnerable and tender . . .

However . . .

There is no power that can destroy LOVE

• Marriage-Problems Tip:
When you discover love for yourself, you can begin to deeply love the other.

true love begins with oneself . . .

P O E M