Help, should I disown my Mother who has disowned me twice?

by Kelly
(NH USA)

I really need help on this, It isn't a joke but it sounds strange. My Mother is a controlling woman and is also a snoop. She read my diaries when I was a kid and if she can't divide and conquer our family she is not happy. I do love my Mother and realize she has issues but enough is enough. I can't cry anymore tears over this woman.

I am the oldest of 4 children and her favourites are the two younger children. I married and moved a couple states away years ago but always visited on the holidays when my Dad was alive. He died of cancer at 56 and on his death bed she had him change the will so everything went to her and the houses each of us kids were to inherit, she got. She went on a spending spree after that and lived on luxury vacations with her bf until the money ran out except for Dad's pension and the waterfront duplex. He dumped her and she was nicer after that for a while.

So Mom disowned me in 97 because my BIL tried to have his way with me when I was drunk. Lucky I fought him off but he is just a disgusting worm of a guy. He's a car salesman, enough said! My fiancé was so mad he called him and said if he ever touched me again he would kill him. My sister overheard and called me on it and I told the truth and she said it was my fault and hung up. My Mom called and told me to take the blame for it and I refused because he did not have to also. So she told me my siblings would never speak to me again. She would visit a couple times a year to see her grandson just overnight and drop off gifts and then liked to snoop around my house while I was at church.

She met a new bf at her 50th HS reunion and they have been dating a few years and she brought him up to meet My son and I for lunch. He is a very nice man and we had a nice visit. So this Thanksgiving I asked her on the phone if we could visit him next summer as he lives on a lake and has two children my age that live nearby. My Mom said NO. I asked why and she said that they decided to not introduce us or something. I reminded her that she already said my brother had been over to his house and met his son and she said, "He's my baby boy"... So I am also disowned now from ever meeting his family. She is probably afraid one of her lies will be uncovered or the whole BIL thing will come out.

I don't know why but I just cried because it hurt. A couple years ago she decided to get all her assets out of her name because they have to be for 5 years or a nursing home or hospital can take them. My brother and sister got the waterfront duplex and I got nothing. My son got 50,000 dollars and bought a mobile home. Again this hurt. I have not talked to mom since she said I will never meet or go to her bf's house which is only an hour from mine.

I noticed my sister kept showing up on Facebook where they say, You may know this person and want to add them to your friends list. Then I figured out my sister can see my wall because she is also on Mom's friend list. My Mom never used Facebook after she opened her account but I added her as a friend. I decided to see if Mom's page was still blank and well it wasn't. She has a picture up and posted an article about my brothers new business. The funny thing is I never got an alert that she changed her profile picture or added a story so she must have me on a restricted list. I'm sure my brother set it up for her. So she finally goes on Facebook but doesn't have me on her close friends list! I cried again because when does it stop? I removed her from my friends list so good luck when she tries to snoop next time!

I am just so done with her controlling games and being on the outside where she wants me. I think she should visit her grandson at his house and I don't want to be involved. I would really like to disown her and just move on with my life in peace. The worst thing you can do to a control freak is to take their power away. It might be good for her to know what it feels like.

Any suggestions? I would really appreciate any and all ideas about how to stop this insanity. I am not interested in taking up with my siblings because it has been so long I don't know them anymore.

Thanks, Kelly