How can I go back to my Mom???

by Katrina
(Crib Point Vic, Australia)

I am a 17 year old girl and ive been living out of home since i was 15.
With friends, older guys I shared accommodations.
I did not even know just to have a bed to go home too.
This experience has been very hard to go along with, because living with friends doesnt always work out.

Ive lived with 3 friends, and at the end of it there is no friendship left at all.
This is sad because they are only trying to help by taking me in and giving me a home, but like i said at the end there is no friendship left.

Me and my mother used to be the two closest people in the world.
Nothing could ever break our relationship, until one day she found herself a new boyfriend after my dad had committed suicide (i was 10 years old).

As for her new boyfriend she fell very quickly for him.
She had 2 kids to him.
My mother was never the type to stand up for her self.
She only acted strong to me as she felt strong because she had all the power over me.
I guess this is true as a mothers role, but I believe a daughter should always have her say no matter what!

I am wanting to move back home after 2 years because i have had it living with friends.
The problem is that i am scared that my mother will not let me.
Her new "so called family", her boyfriend will not say a word to me.
Even if I was to face homelessness, i don’t feel welcome at the house.

I don’t even feel welcome to see my brothers or my little 1 year old sister!

I want to become closer to my mother but have no idea what to say or do without her boyfriend getting in the way of our relationship.
Any ideas please, please let me know, anything...

Thank you!