I am thirty three years old, at what point can I expect my mother to stop trying to control my life?

by Christine
(Maine)

My mother was put in a position to be overprotective at a very early age in my life.

Out of three children I am the only one with a diagnosed mental ilness. I was diagnossed at thirteen maybe fourteen and showed signs of being unstable before I was even ten years old. By eight or nine years old my mother learned I was being physically abused by the principle at a non denominational christian school. It had been going on for more than two years. She found out from my younger brother who attended the same school and knew I was in the principles office everyday getting spankings.

My mother was forced to be over protective. But in my adult years I have struggled with the fact that she continues to try to exert control in my life.

If I upset her in my respones to her questioning, she threatens to call my father and stop him from paying my cell phone.

Tonight she threathened to call him and tell him to cancel my violin lessons if I do not do as she says.

The problems I have in our relationship is that it seems an overprotective over involved mom when overstepping boundries is down right controling and insulting.

She loves a good fight, and I get very upset when she pushes me to the point where I am shaking and I am so nervous from fighting with her.

I am on disability and have no car. I do not have much support and every time I try to get someone else to take me to the laundry or a doctors appointment mom acts insulted that I am not letting her do it.

I do not want my life to be this way but I am forced to have it "other peoples way" just because I cannot work and support myself.

My mother has to let go and let me handle the things I can do myself. She is not my legal guardian. I am not that unwell.

When should I expect my mother to stop treating me like a child and stop controling me?