My Daughter has a New Boyfriend!

by Angela
(Los Angeles CA)

My daughter and I have had a wonderful relationship once she finished High School(HS)!! but for the most part really appreciated everything in the end and many times thanked me for all I did to send her places and give her things she wanted and needed through HS.

She graduated college, and during and thereafter, we were relatively close. About every 6-8 months she would call me (she attended college out of state) to get advice or assistance with a problem or issue.
Everything was great.

Then, she met a new boyfriend. h
He had a horrible relationship with his mother, and his parents divorced early.
He never really had a mother and hated her.

All of a sudden, my daughter no longer treats me kindly.
She has said horrible things to me...absolutely shocking...and literally has broken my heart.

Now this new boyfriend (they met in September 2010, moved in together in Nov) and by Dec got engaged.
Marriage is planned for around april.
No matter what I say to her, she discusses with her fiancee...we have no opportunity for a mom-daughter talk anymore.

Everything I say to her, she runs to him and tells him. Since he never had a relationship with a mother...he cannot understand any of this.
And they end up arguing.

And I feel betrayed.
This boyfriend, too, though I think he is a nice person certainly.
I have only met him briefly twice for a few hours. I need some more time to get to know him.
as I do not know him at all.

I am not ready for all this committment. When I called my daughter and left a message to call me (to tell her something about one of our family members - sudden serious illness) she called me and left a hurtful message that if this was about her boyfriend and her, she does not intend to talk to me at all.

Since I recommended that she might consider premartial counseling, she got so angry at me, that she said she wants me to have nothing to do with her wedding plans.

What did i do wrong? I thought when a person is happy and in love, the head is in the clouds and you love everyone and everything is so happy for you.

My daughter has a good job (he does not -unfortunately could not support a wife) and she knows I am not happy about her living arrangement, though I accept it.

HELP! please tell me what I should do!
I would like my daughter back!!