My mother stole my identity...our relationship is GONE!

by Lost and alone
(Tacoma, WA)

I used to have a good relationship with my mother until I was about 20 years old. I looked up to her, I spoke highly of her to everyone I knew.

Then, when I was about 20, I found out that she used my social security to attain a bunch of credit cards and stuff.

Since this has happened, we haven't had one good conversation, like we used to. I don't call her for advice, like I used to. I don't call her at work just to say hi...none of that.

I feel saddened by everything because on one level, I miss her. I miss my mom but I feel so ANGRY with her for doing what she did, I don't know that I could ever feel the way I used to about her.

Our relationship is so damaged. I forgive her because I know that no one is perfect but I can't forget... especially now because I live in poverty and I can't get car loans so that I can get a car or anything like that (personal loans, ect) due to what she's done to my credit.

It's horrible.

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Mar 07, 2011
Before forgiveness...
by: V.A.

Actually prior to forgiveness, it is totally OK to be very angry if this feels true to you.

Feelings like betrayal, abuse and hurt can not be denied and should not be denied.
Feelings like these however can be dissolved. Actually it is the best thing to do to dissolve them.

Just accept anger, let anger be and next dissolve the anger. Or any other intense feeling.
After all heavy charges are gone, there is clear space in your heart to forgive.
This gives you space to truely and deeply forgive and understand your mother.

It is horrible to have a bad and damaged relationship with her, and hey it is heaven to feel that love (again)!

All the best to you!

Mar 06, 2011
by: Deb b

I am so very sorry about your credit and how you mother used you.

It is wonderful to forgive her; what a gracious heart you have. She must have done some things right in raising you.

Is she sorry? Certainly, a part of her knows how wrong she was. Perhaps, she could co-sign for a car or buy you furniture, or repay you financially somehow.
Is there a place for someone to recoup their credit when it has been stolen? search this out, too.

Her 'sin' has consequences; as a mother with an estranged daughter..that pain is so great, daily...please continue to talk to her...

People/relatives will always disappoint us but be the person that loves unconditionally.
Love unconditionally.

Praying your relationship heals.

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