My Mum Hates Me, I Love Her Still

by Ellie
(Ireland)

Cant believe I am saying this but me and my mum have lost everything between us!

My stepdad and my mum are expecting a baby.
They just got engaged and I pretend like Im happy about it but I the truth is, just feel left out. Theyre going to have a family of their own and i will just be left at the side.

We had an argument last night because my room wasnt tidy and my mum told me she is throwing everything out....i grabbed my eyeliner and refused to give it to her.

She hit my back with her fist and scabbed my hands (I have nail marks) until she got it from me.
Then Bernard began to get involved....after I had those nail marks I felt really hurt.
I wanted to leave, so my stepdad said get her the f*&## out of this house!!!
Hearing this, changed something in me....it hurt so much hearing it from him but he said it.
I tried to leave but they would not let me go.
I stayed downstairs while my mum told me to go upstairs.
I refused and she slapped me.

It really hurt for she never laid a hand on me before.
I was running up the stairs crying...then my stepdad runs up the stairs crying and says to me: “I hope your mother does not loose this baby over you”

OVER ME? I wondered. AM I NOT JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THAT BABY??

I felt so bad...like he is trying to make me feel like nothing.
I am crying my eyes out and no one cares.

Then he comes back again saying “i hope you are happy. I am moving out tonight!”

This just completely hit me.
I have done some mistakes, mistakes I will never be able to fix.
But hopefully they will heal with time.

One thing is for sure: treat mum right.
There is only one of her.
I love you mum!!!