Not talking

by Deb B
(Greenville, SC)

I love Jeni, my daughter, but she has cut me out of her life.
I have apologized for everything even the things that I am not aware of. Jeni has never told me why she does not want a relationship with me, her mom. I adored her and was a good listener as she grew up. She is now married to a nice man, she is in her mid twenties.

We are both christian women that believe in forgiveness. I do not need to know the why, I just want to be a part of her life and I would love her to be a part of my life.

I send emails and gifts and cards and I do not get any response!

I miss my only child. Please, advise!! I need help.


Dear Deb B:

Thank you for sharing.
First thing to do is to acknowledge your feelings. The pain of having 'lost' your daughter at this point. Please spend time grieving for this, because if you do your grieving, the pain will not turn into suffering.

Once you have done your grieving, the space will be more clear between the two of you and any compulsive pushing and pulling will practically be gone.

You will be more at ease and your daughter will feel this as well. At deeper levels you and your daughter will always be connected.

How is or was your relationship with your mother, any patterns there?

Next it is time to deepen your unconditional love for your daughter. Truely experience how it is, to love her no matter what. If she allows or wants you in her physical life or not. If she answers your cards, emails or not: You love her!

This brings us to the question if you feel enough love to give unconditional love. Can you be the source of love?

Forgive yourself if this is not the case YET. Believe that you will be the source of Love in due time. The Love that connects everybody and everything.

Let me know if this helps . . .

With all my love,
Victoria