Parents-Children-Relationships

My Parents-Children-Relationships story is not such a pretty story, but I do want to share it.
When I was 14 years old, I had a summer job.
I was really excited to have my first job and to ear some money!
When pay day came, I proudly showed my parents my money.
Next my dad told me to hand over the money to him.
I was shocked! Dad also took the rest of my summer job earnings. I was horrified. I felt I had no choice.

A couple of years later I went into nursing.
It was an education and training on the job program.
So I actually made a little money. My Dad spoke to me about him having trouble making ends meet and him expected me to give him my pay check. I felt well how do I say this properly, I felt abused, I felt betrayed once more! I was so angry!

I resented him taking my earnings! My mother never said anything about this issue to me.

At a certain point I moved out my parents’ house and rented a room, so I needed my pay check to pay for my own living expenses.

What a relief it was to get away from Dad!

Later when I got married, it took years and years for me to find out why I never could make ends meet.
Why I just could not save some money. Why I compulsively had to spend every cent I had.
Basically why I could not manage money at all.
I wanted money, but could not keep it.

I also did not want my kids to have summer jobs.
All their friends have jobs, but I don’t let them. I honestly was afraid that a summer job might hurt them!
I was sure it would bring only trouble.

This triggered something, because it did not make sense anymore.
I had to work on my anger and resentment towards my dad and this damned money issue.
I had to do it for my kids.
I want my teenage kids to have great opportunities and be successful and happy. I want them to remember me being a good mother.

Mark’s story
My parents were not there for me

I am Mark, 49 years old and leading in my field of Architecture.
I was born with a physical disability, a spinal muscular dystrophy. I am not good at sports. If I dress myself well, nobody notices my physical deformation. But when I was a kid, my brothers and sisters (I have 8 brothers and sisters) really let me know that I was not OK.
They were very decent about it, but in subtle ways let me know that I was not one of them, that I was a weakling. I needed a lot of help because back then, I could no even sit up right by myself!

My sisters took care of me and some of my sisters really did not like looking after me. I was afraid of her.
At school I was doing fine academically speaking. But I was the laughing stock of all kids.
I tried to hide as much as I could and never draw attention to me.
Those were horrible years!
Things changed for me when I went to college. Later I got a great job as an architect.

My parents were not there for me when I was growing up.
I think they were ashamed that they got a kid like me.
I was nothing to them. My sisters always took care of me.
When I feel down, I wish I was never born.
I don’t know what love is.

• Parents-Children Relationship Problems Tip:
Your Parents-Children-Relationships story is unique, yet in other ways it is not.
We have all suffered from a not so happy childhood.

It is OK to feel the way you feel. Allow these feelings, share and express these feelings. They will then pass and make room for a better experience.

How I was as a child? When I was 5 years old, my father used to beat me up, because I was not making a lot of progress in learning how to read.
I was so terrified of the physical abuse, that I must have gotten a black out.
This earned me some more beatings.
I was a total failure.
I disappointed my old man and felt very guilty about it.

I think my father was afraid that I was not turning out as smart as he wanted me to be.
Maybe he was right, because I never did well in school.
I now work in a bar and I like it there.

• Parents-Children Relationship Problems Tip:
You have the right to be who you are!

My Parents-Children-Relationships story is a story about broken promises....
I am a very successful lawyer and 38 years old.
About my parents.
My mother used to promise my sister and me all kinds of things.
That we would go to the movies or visit aunty Tina or go swimming. But it mostly came down to her breaking her promises, because mother could not remember what she had told us.
Or she forgot.
Or something came up.
You could just not rely on her word!

When I was 10 years old, I said to myself:
“whatever mother is saying does not mean anything at all!” I recall this very clearly that I decided I would not believe her words any more.
Mother lives in her own little world and who knows what is going on there!

Hi I am Chris and 29 years old.
My father wanted a boy, so I was not fitting the bill.
When I was growing up, they dressed me like a boy, a lot of blues, pants and no dresses.
My hair was kept short.
People must have thought I really was a boy!
Later my father took me to soccer practice.
Also camping and scouting was part of my upbringing.

I went to college and majored in mathematical statistics.
In the department I was the only female student.
When my father passed away, I suffered from a nervous breakdown.
I dropped out of school.
All my life I tried to please him, compensated for some lack as much as I could, but never deserved his approval.
Let alone his love!

Now that he is dead and gone, I finally am able to breathe fully.
I had my first boyfriend when I was 25.
I finally allowed myself to discover myself and become a woman.

All my life, my father had denied who I really am.
I now run my own antique shop.
I have a lot of girl friends and wear a lot of pink dresses.
A pony tail is so cool!

• Parents-Children Relationship Problems Tip:
Real friendships can empower you so much in the area of your Parents-Children Relationship Problems and allow even more you to be who you really are!

All my life I have looked at myself the way my parents looked at me.
When I was younger they looked at me as a nuisance that messed up their already complicated lives.
But it was not I that messed things up, it was the situation they were in which messed their lives up.

I grew up as the only child and my parents got divorced when I was a baby.

They loved me but I was not welcome in their lives.
They at some level rejected me as their child.
My parents and I have never been a real family.

Sometimes I feel sorry for them and at other times I am very angry with them. Sometimes I feel guilty about their unhappiness.
I also feel I don’t deserve to be happy, although I tell everybody that I want to be happy.
I don’t want to be happier than my parents have ever been.
I can’t be happier than my father!

As for my own life, I have trouble committing to anybody.
Relationships can be so tedious!
I don’t have a lot of friends.
At work I don’t like to stay longer than a couple of years.

I want to be happy and feel fulfilled bit don’t know what to do about it.
I guess I hold a grudge against life.

My father left my mom when I was very young. I actually never knew him.

I don’t know if he cares for me or not.
I believe he knows about me, but has never visited me or written a letter or anything.
My mom never talks about him.

When I was 10 years old, I moved to my aunt’s house.
My mom was taken to a clinic to get treatment.

She was an alcoholic, actually.
My aunt did not like to talk about this. I feel she blames my run away father for my mom’s condition.

When I was 20 years old I tried committing suicide twice.
I felt that nobody will notice if I am not around anymore.

I was tired of the meaninglessness of my life.
What is the purpose of my life anyway? My attempts were not successful.

Two year ago I had a cleaning job with a person who is a life coach.

We started talking and she was really caring.
She recommended me a weekend workshop about healing relationships with parents.
At first I did not want to do the workshop, but later I realized I had noting to loose really.

This workshop proved to be exactly what I needed!
I now see that it was not my fault and that it does not make it better for my parents if I keep on feeling guilty.

I also released a lot of anger and sadness.
It felt really good.

Now I want to help kids who are messed up and try to commit suicide.

I have been there and know how it feels.

My name is Jami and my age is 36.
I am a very successful businesswoman.

I am very outgoing and have a great network of business associates.
I believe in giving as an art.

Now about my parents.
I was actually adopted by two very kind people.
But I don’t know my biological parents and wonder if that matters.
The people whom I call mom and dad did a good job raising me.

Sometimes I have had sudden attacks of deep disturbing emotions.
Fear and total emptiness.

I don’t seem to be able to do anything about these spells of darkness, as I call it.

I don’t know what triggers these spells.
I just feel the need to somehow fill this emptiness and coldness that is inside of me.
I was not sure if anybody ever experiences these kinds of things.
I was very much afraid to talk about this.

One year ago I had another one of these spells and my neighbor referred me to a spiritual person.
Using guided meditations I have been through a deep inner process.
Something in my unconscious mind was stuck having to do with deep feelings of being abandoned by my biological parents.
That blew my mind!

At this point I am looking into what happened during my early childhood years and the influence of my biological parents.

• Parents-Children Relationship Problems Tip:
Why not get help with your Parents-Children Relationships?
You may save yourself a lot of agony and a lot of time living in agony by getting some sound advice, support, tips and positive empowerment on Parents-Children Relationships!

My Parents-Children-Relationships story is a mother-daughter-relationship story.
I get so irritated with my Mom!

I figured out by talking to my sis-in-law that my Mom tells other people what I am doing, where I am going and my achievements and how proud she is of me and things like that.

But she NEVER tells me!

Not the slightest support, validation, compliment she will give me.
Let alone tell me that she loves me or something.
I just feel she is pushing me away all the time and can’t make sense of all the good stuff she tells others about me.
I hate her for doing this and wished she could just tell me half of the good stuff she tells other people about me.
How can I explain to her how I feel and what it is that I want her to give to me?

• Parents-Children Relationship Problems Tip:
You may want to take responsibility for communication.
Let your parents know what you would like to see, hear and feel from them.
Get your request as a child out there for your parents to know.

Find out more about communication

SBI!

Parents-Children-Relationships Stories