Underlying-communication-quiz helps you get clear on your communication issues!

Underlying-Communication-Quiz

What drives my conversation ?

What is driving me in this conversation with this partner on this particular topic ?
Issues or even hidden issues are underlying your communication!

What issues are underlying my communication?

What issues are underlying my conversation making my words, my intentions and non-verbal body communication not being in alignment ?
Find out with this underlying-communication-quiz and gain greater awareness of your hidden issues.

You know how to communicate and how to achieve a sense of connection, but with this particular person and this particular topic it is not working out.
And it feels uncomfortable or heavy.

If your communication are not working out as you want it to do, there may be underlying hidden issues and intentions present that is messing up your communication.

With this underlying-communication-quiz you can quickly find out if there are in fact underlying issues on and what the nature of these are.

So it is helpful to get clear on what is underlying your communication.

When you get clear on these underlying issues, it is best to deal with these issues first.

Next, when you actually start your talk, you will experience a much better communication and connection.
See this Underlying-Communication-Quiz as a preparation that will improve your talk.

Introduction

This quiz was designed as an Underlying-Communication-Quiz specific for communication problems in relationships.

The Underlying-Communication-Quiz is very powerful and effective in showing you what is driving you at this moment and what the underlying issues could be.

It is best to answer the questions honestly and quickly without thinking too long and deep about your answers.
Do not think about what would be socially accepted answers, or how the Underlying-Communication-Quiz was designed.

This Underlying-Communication-Quiz was made to simply let you find out fast where you stand.

There are of course no wrong nor right answers.

The right answer is the one which now feels most true to you.
You do not have to share the results with anybody if you don't feel like sharing!

And remember, no matter how serious the results of this Underlying-Communication-Quizseem, there are many ways to deal with your underlying issues and grow and improve your communications!

Answering the questions of the Underlying-Communication-Quizhonestly and quickly will give you a clear snapshot of what intentions and issues might be underlying your communication.
You will know where you stand quickly!

Note:
“My partner” in this Underlying-Communication-Quiz refers to the person you want to communicate with.

Underlying-Communication-Quiz Instructions

• To start: focus on your partner and on the particular topic you want to discuss with your partner for a minute

• Next: answer the following questions with a “YES” or a “NO”

• You may want to write down how many times you answer “YES” or a “NO”

• Count the total number of “YESes” and “NOs”

• Next, move on to the results section of the Underlying-Communication-Quiz.

Underlying-Communication-Quiz

1. I fear that I am not getting what I want from my partner	Yes	No
2. I fear a conflict (existing or in the making) with my partner	Yes	No
3. I fear intense emotions when we talk	Yes	No
4. I fear punishment in some way	Yes	No
5. I fear pain and hurt	Yes	No
6. I fear that my partner will not acknowledge me nor listen to me	Yes	No
7. I fear rejection	Yes	No
8. I fear abandonment	Yes	No
9. I fear my partner will attack me	Yes	No
10. I fear my partner will betray me	Yes	No
11. I fear I have to admit something I don’t want to admit	Yes	No
12. I fear I have to give something I don’t want to give	Yes	No
13. I fear humiliation	Yes	No
14. I have suppressed anger and frustration	Yes	No
15. I have definite ideas about either my partner, or what we will talk about	Yes	No
16. I have definite judgments about either my partner, or what we will talk about	Yes	No
17. I have strong desires that may not be fulfilled	Yes	No
18. I feel guilty	Yes	No
19. I experience conflicting interests with my partner	Yes	No
20. I’m lying to and cheating my partner	Yes	No
21. My partner is lying to me and cheating to me	Yes	No
22. I feel resentment about either my partner, or what we will talk about	Yes	No
23. I feel vindictive about my partner	Yes	No
24. I experience a difference in values with my partner	Yes	No
25. I and / or my partner are keeping score	Yes	No
26. I and / or my partner are seeing many faults in each other or our topic	Yes	No
27. My partner has a “my way or the highway” attitude	Yes	No
28. I and / or my partner don’t have enough commitment	Yes	No
29. I feel I don’t have a choice ( I am a victim)	Yes	No
30. My partner has nothing or little to offer me anyway	Yes	No
31. My partner is boring	Yes	No
32. I don’t feel safe enough being with my partner	Yes	No
33. I and / or my partner don’t feel enough respect	Yes	No
34. I don’t feel appreciated by my partner	Yes	No
35. I don’t appreciate my partner	Yes	No
36. I want to make my partner do things he / she probably does not agree with	Yes	No
37. My partner want to make me do things I don’t or can’t do	Yes	No
38. I have assumptions about either my partner, or our topic	Yes	No
39. I have expectations about either my partner, or our topic	Yes	No
40. I have hidden desired outcomes on my agenda	Yes	No
41. I have issues that can’t bear the light and my partner may find out	Yes	No
42. My partner is a higher up and I am uncomfortable with this	Yes	No
43. I feel overpowered by my partner	Yes	No
44. I feel my partner is dominating me	Yes	No
45. I fear I don’t understand my partner	Yes	No

Underlying-Communication-Quiz Scoring & Results

To score your answers on this Underlying-Communication-Quiz,count the total number of “YESes” and “NOs”

Also look at on what items exactly you scored “YESes”

Results

Total number of “YESes”: 0

You do not have any UNDERLYING issues with this partner and with the particular topic you want to discuss.
You may have issues, but you are aware of having these issues.

If you are clear on all your issues and can take responsibility for these issues, communication will flow.

You and your partner can discuss these issues openly and honestly and a sense of connection will develop.
Even if you both do not agree entirely or have a conflict of interest or intense emotions, if these can be out in the open, the connection between you both will be fine.

Total number of “YESes”: 1 or more

You have underlying issues in your communication with this partner and with this particular topic.

Are you OK with getting clear on this ?

• Communication Tip:
Ask yourself:
Can I admit to myself that I have underlying issues in communicating to my partner about this particular topic ?
And that I am not happy about this ?

• Communication Tip:
Can I just simply decide that I want to see this partner as he /she is ?
Can I just simply decide that I want to see the topic of our talk as it is, no more no less ?
Maybe I can see my partner and the topic of the talk in a different light now ?

• Communication Tip:
May be it is time for me to decide that I want to do something constructive about these underlying issues ?

• Communication Tip:
Give yourself permission to ask for professional help if you decide you want to work on your underlying issues in your communications

Looking at your underlying issues and intentions can improve your communication and bring your sense of connection with your partner to a higher level.

• Communication Tip:
You can redo this Underlying-Communication-Quiz focusing on another partner or topic !

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