What happened?

by Angela
(Canada)

Our daughter is now 20 and still lives at home. She comes and goes as she pleases and disregards most rules.
She only works part time, doesn't feel the need to find a full time job. She doesn't help with chores most times. Doesn't pay for anything other that her own stuff.
She is disrespectful and just doesn't seem to care about us, her family. She only cares about herself and her friends.

We have threatened to kick her out but that never seems to pan out. She is very emotional and manipulative.
We are so numb and tired. We don't know what to do. We don't know how to discipline
her at this stage because it has gone on for so long. We have tried grounding, taking away stuff, and threatening to kick her out.

We are not asking her to leave her friends or never go out. We are just asking that she be more responsible and considerate.

I don't know where things went sideways. We are so discouraged right now but we don't want to lose her. We just want her to be a part of our family again and be decent with us.

We are at a loss as to what to do. Please help!
Angela

P.S. I really enjoy this website. Very encouraging and hopeful.